Monday, October 17, 2005

I try

I tell myself to stop thinking it. Sit still. Concentrate. It's an easy job. You're making money. It's not permanent. No, no. It's a temporary job, you idiot. But I can't help but be restless. Bored. Numbed. Tired.

It partially accounted for the mini-breakdown I had on Saturday night. That and being tired and having had a few beers. Where do these emotions come from? And why does having a stupid job that uses no talent, intellect or skill make me feel less than enough?

I have another interview for Wednesday. Repeat: you're good enough, you're smart enough, and gosh darnit, people like me.

9 Comments:

At 6:11 AM, Anonymous Suz said...

Hang in there, sweetie. It will happen. Some transitions just take a little longer than others. Break a leg at your interview!

 
At 6:30 AM, Anonymous Pedro said...

Wish u get the answer or the way out, and let me know how, i'm overflowed too.
On the book: Everythings iluminated, tells about someone that says "everything it's ok"... while works and does not let things worst.
Good luck!

 
At 2:58 PM, Blogger Nicole said...

You can do it! Things will work out, hopefully sooner than later.

(but are you sure the breakdown wasn't just Nicole-withdrawal?)

 
At 9:04 AM, Blogger Dee said...

Or, Pollyanna, things might not work out.

They could stay the same. Or get worse.

What happens, then?

 
At 9:06 AM, Blogger Jerry said...

Yeah, yeah. Actually I hope no one thinks I'm posting this to get some pats on the back. But then, why am I posting?

Die, Casey, Die. Love ya!

 
At 2:42 PM, Blogger Dee said...

Jerry, I don't think anyone who knows you would ever suspect you of blogging for sympathy . . . ; )

 
At 7:16 PM, Blogger Dee said...

Now, if, say, these folks, tomorrow, offered you the pay and benefits you've been looking for to do the very same thing you've been doing, would you take it?

 
At 8:35 PM, Blogger Jerry said...

No, I can honestly say I don't think I would (of course crazy, hasty decisions can always be made in the heat of hysteria).

I have done a lot of thinking about this job shit. And what I have come to realize over my 2 year hiatus and pondering of what I want is that I'm looking for an office culture (because I do want peers and colleagues dammit!) in which I'm learning and feel comfortable. So when I'm interviewing, I'm not desperate so much. I'm interviewing them as well so it's a good match.

Of course, I can be sweet talked into a lot of things. I'm gullible that way. But I am actually learning and trying not to make a mistake. I've been so lucky that I've worked with such smart, likeable and helpful people. I don't want to get some nasty boss or ucky work environment. Money aint all that.

 
At 8:45 AM, Blogger Dee said...

1) Bravo, Fausty. Points for "just saying no" to selling out. But--be careful--it's easier than you think. It was easier than I thought.

2) If, let's say, tomorrow, the Awesome Boss at the Cool Work Environment offered you a job with Great Pay and Excellent Benefits . . . to do exactly what you're doing, right now . . . would you take it?

3) Aren't places with money--offering jobs that pay the $$$--more likely to offer the substantial office culture you're looking for?

 

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