Saturday, October 08, 2005

homesick?

I meant to see En La Cuidad on several occasions. Set and shot in Barcelona, it's a wonderful film that got tons of attention in Spain and was widely praised by people I know and respect as a must-see. But it seemed like every time I picked it up at the video club near our house in BCN, I put it back down for some reason.

Well, I decided to put it on our netflix list and finally watch it. I guess I intended it as a reminder of the city. And it happened to arrive over the weekend that's nearly a two-month marker of when we left.

I never expected how much it would affect me.

It wasn't the major things like seeing restaurants, bars and places I know so well. It was the little things: drinking wine at lunch, seeing streets and places I haven't really thought about in the past two months, hearing familiar phrases and the besitos given to everyone.

That's the thing, I haven't felt like I missed Barcelona all that much. I still get updates from Guillem and Carlos and others but mostly I'm so enmeshed in my day-to-day affairs -- looking for a job, getting to work, figuring out how to make a life for us here that I haven't really been given a chance to reflect on what I left behind.

And so this movie suddenly slammed into me. By the time the characters all begin to break apart at the end, I felt like I was about to weep right along with them. I think I'm only now beginning to see some of the ways I've been shaped by the two years there. Listening to the banal conversations of the men and women in the office I've been at all week, talking to someone after an artist lecture earlier this week, I feel myself reacting in ways that are unfamiliar or odd. I feel myself separating from them and judging.

Now, I'm not gonna let myself romanticize the city (it has enough PR and marketing gurus to do that for itself), but I do admit that I miss it. That I took it for granted often while I was there (shame on me!) and I plan on returning at some point. I know it's not my city, that I wouldn't have been happy living there for a much longer period at this point in my life. But I must say, it's caught somewhere in my heart, in my imagination, wrapped up in places I didn't even expect and may not discover for even more time to come.

2 Comments:

At 8:40 AM, Blogger Dee said...

A heart?

Weeping!

Am I at the right blog?!

 
At 12:02 PM, Blogger Jerry said...

shutup, you

 

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